J'onn and Mike's Bogus Adventure
by Mr. Chaos
Summary: In To Another Shore, J'onn decided to leave the League and learn about the world. Choosing Booster Gold as his guide, the two of them travel the globe. Hilarity ensues. crossover
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I do not own any of these characters. I merely borrow them.

In 'To Another Shore' J'onn made the decision to leave the league, and learn about the human race. When we see him again, he has discovered happiness, joy, and perhaps even love. The once cold hearted Martian is happy, and has a story to tell.

_Deciding that the only way he can learn about the human race is to be a part of it, J'onn searches for another man that has been displayed in this world, but someone he misjudged…one of his greatest mistakes: Booster Gold._

_But what starts out as a simple conversation will turn into a hilarious journey across the world, discovering other heroes, places, and mysterious. The DCU will never be the same._

J'onn and Mike's Bogus Adventure 

Part 1

TTA Meeting

"Booster Gold…is in therapy?"

Ted Kord gave the Martian a slight nod as he continued to work on his special crime-fighting gun. "Martians don't have therapy?"

"There was little use for it. We were a people that could connect with one another, feel the joys of all and each help carry the burden of others."

"Sounds like therapy to me." Ted muttered as he continued to tinker. "Blame me for him not being here. After Booster's first month in this time, I noticed he was still have problems adjusting, so I suggested maybe he should find a therapist. He tells me that therapists were outlawed in the 25th century when it was found out that they never once helped get supervillian back to normal, and more often then not ended up making them more insane."

J'onn thought back to the Joker. "Yes…I could see that."

Ted nodded. "So, Booster decides to do the next best thing: He creates a support group for people that travel through time. Kinda like AA. Already has a few members…I can give you the address…"

J'onn eyes flashed. "10263 E. Corunna Rd."

The Blue beetle shifted away. "I hate it when you do that."

"Sorry." J'onn said before phasing and falling through the floor.

"I hate it when you do that too!" Ted called down.

&&&

"Can I help you?" A woman asked, looking up from her documents, only to come eye to eye with J'onn. The Martian waited for her to scream, as many people did at his appearance. Instead, she gave him a big sweet smile. "Are you looking for someone?"

J'onn paused, startled at her cheery attitude. "Yes…I am looking for Booster Gold…"

"Ah, of course." The woman said. "Got sent back in time?"

"That isn't…"

"Its alright dear, I'm sure things are rather confusing for you. Come on…I show you where he is." Before J'onn could protest, the woman was out of her chair and taking him by the arm, leading him down the hallway, past conference rooms until they came to one door, a crudely drawn sign on it proclaiming it the "TTA: Time-Travelers-Anonymous" meeting.

"Go on in, I'm sure Booster won't mind if you sit in. They're just getting started. Just be ready to talk about yourself."

Before he could protest, the door was opened, and J'onn stumbled into the room. Booster glanced at him as he stood from his chair. 'League Business?'

'No. I just need to talk to you afterwards.'

'Ok.' Booster thought back, before calling the meeting to order. "Lets start this meeting of TTA. I will begin tonight…hello, my name is Booster Gold, and it has been 2 years since I traveled through time."

"Hello Booster." The 4 other people in the room said.

"Back when I was in the 25th century, I was ruined by gambling and thinking only of myself. That's why I came back in time, to get some cash. But instead, I was able to become a real hero, find friends that cared about me, and a woman I hope to spend the rest of my life with. This week, my girl and I began planning our first vacation together." Booster grinned. "I picked someplace warm…her in a two piece…" Wiggling his eyebrows, Booster chuckled. "Ok, would someone from the British contingency like to go?"

J'onn looked over at the two. The first man was dressed in a brown coat, with long hair and a very long striped scarf wrapped around his neck. He didn't say a word as the second man, dressed in a bright blue suit with heeled boots, thick glasses and really bad teeth stood up.

"Right right…" The man said. "Hello there, name is Powers…Austin Powers…Austin _Danger _Powers, and it has been 2 months since I traveled through time."

"Hello Austin." The group said.

Austin grinned. "Yea baby, it was a wild time. I had to go back to 1923 to stop Scott Evil from taking over the world with a giant laser. It was a blast, man…though, I think there was some confusion about swingers, if ya know what I mean?" He let out a series of laughs, before giving them a sheepish nod. "Turns out it refers to dancing."

"Atleast you get to travel in a car!" Their newest member, a Japanese student that was in America for a foreign exchange student program. "I have to jump down a dirty well!"

Booster frowned. "Kagome…what did I tell you about anger?"

The Japanese girl sighed. "This is a place of healing, not for yelling."

"That's right." Booster said. "Austin, is there anything else you would like to say?"

"No man, I'm sound as a pound…yea!"

"I don't understand a word that man says!" Dr. Emmett L. Brown said, frizzy white hair bobbing as he shook his head.

Booster rolled his eyes. "Doc Brown, would you like to speak next."

"Thank you very much, my esteemed fellow traveler!" He leapt up from his chair, eyes almost manic. Marty and I…"

"Ahem!" Booster coughed.

"Oh, right right…Hello, I am Dr. Emmett L. Brown, and it has been 2 weeks since I last traveled through time…"

"Hello Doc." The group said. J'onn watch on with interest, intrigued that once again, Booster Gold had shown he wasn't anything like he would expect. The Martian would never have guessed that the once money-loving-glory-hound hero would ever take the time to create a support group for time travelers.

'Which is why I have selected him to teach me about humanity…he is the only person I never understood, and thus he will give me the best view of life on this planet…and being an outsider like me, he will understand my plight.'

When Diana had challenged him on his isolation, he had realized that, sadly, he had imposed upon himself exile. For so many years, he had been alone, and when the chance had been given to him to live again, he had become afraid. Thus, he locked himself in the Watchtower, became closed off…until he had been shaken from his path and given another chance.

One of the things J'onn had done while he was on the Watchtower these last few years was read Earth literature, to learn about mankind. One book that had interested him was Dante's Inferno; the idea that man was so fearful of death, yet he would take the time to put down in great detail all that he feared, intrigued him.

Now, he was beginning his own journey into Hell, to walk this strange planet and face his fears of rejection and hate. And Booster Gold was his Virgil, leading him down the rings of Hell.

"…and then the flux capacitator just blew up! I had to make a new one from barb wire and honey bees, and that wasn't easy, as you can imagine!" Doc Brown said.

Booster nodded. "Well, it is good you were able to come back. Any new business?" The group shook their heads. "Then I suggest we call it a night. Remember, next meeting is on the 15th." Shaking a few hands, Booster walked up to J'onn and gave him a grin. "Hey, long time no see!"

"You have been on the inactive list for a while."

Booster nodded, rubbing his shoulder. "Old football injury. You guys don't have nanobots in this era, so I'm not use to injuries lasting this long. Almost back to full strength. But I'm guessing your aren't here for a chat."

"No…as you know, I have not been down to Earth for a long time. I have come to realize that I have lost touch with humanity."

"Kinda easy to lose touch, when you aren't human."

J'onn nodded. "That is why I am leaving the League. I need to learn about humans. How else can I expect to aid them if I do not understand them?"

"I follow you 100." Booster said. "So, what's the plan?"

"I was…hoping you could assist me."

Booster's eyebrows shot up. "You mean, be your guide to humanity?"

"You know both the side of humans, as well as what it is like to be a stranger in this world. I would ask Wonder Woman, but…"

"With you gone, they need a heavy hitter." Booster said simply, leading J'onn down the hall.

J'onn frowned. "I am not saying you aren't needed…"

Booster waved him off. "I understand, J'onn. I might be moving up, but Wonder Woman? She's a founder…she inspires people just being there."

"Yes." J'onn said. "Will you help me, Michael?"

"J'onn, consider it an honor." Booster flashed another grin. "it will be sweet. I've sent Skeets to aid Tracy, since they both understand science and stuff, and when he isn't there he is pining for the Batcomputer. Did you hear about what Bats found him doing?" J'onn shook his head. "He goes down there and finds Skeets with flowers and a box of chocolate, talking to the computer. Says he looked up courting and that was the first file he found. Then he buzzed over to Batman and asked for the computer's circuits in marriage, since Bats is considered to be the computers dad." Booster rolled his eyes. "I swear, I think I crossed some of Skeets' wires when I deleted his security functions."

J'onn merely nodded his head, barely able to follow the story.

"This will be great though!" Booster exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. "We can go back to Ted's, 'borrow' his car, load up on beer and chips, and drive around looking for parties." 

J'onn frowned as they left the building and began walking through the parking lot. "That's…not what I had in mind."

"Come on!" Booster whined. "This will be fun. No missions, no danger, no evil creatures looking to kill us…"

"Humans!"

Booster and J'onn turned slowly, eye widening as a red car that had been sitting lot shifted, pieces moving and twisting as it transformed into a massive red robot. The machine took a step forward, the cannon in its chest aimed right at them.

"Give me the AllSpark!"

Booster and J'onn glanced at each other. "Uh oh."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I do not own any of these characters. I merely borrow them.

In 'To Another Shore' J'onn made the decision to leave the league, and learn about the human race. When we see him again, he has discovered happiness, joy, and perhaps even love. The once cold hearted Martian is happy, and has a story to tell.

_Deciding that the only way he can learn about the human race is to be a part of it, J'onn searches for another man that has been displayed in this world, but someone he misjudged…one of his greatest mistakes: Booster Gold._

_But what starts out as a simple conversation will turn into a hilarious journey across the world, discovering other heroes, places, and mysterious. The DCU will never be the same._

J'onn and Mike's Bogus Adventure 

Part 2

More then meets the eye

"Come on!" Booster whined. "This will be fun. No missions, no danger, no evil creatures looking to kill us…"

"Humans!"

Booster and J'onn turned slowly, eye widening as a red car that had been sitting lot shifted, pieces moving and twisting as it transformed into a massive red robot. The machine took a step forward, the cannon in its chest aimed right at them.

"Give me the AllSpark!"

Booster and J'onn glanced at each other. "Uh oh."

"I will not ask again…" The red robot shouted, the energy cannon powering up. "The Allspark…"

Booster turned to J'onn. "I don't suppose you have this 'Allspark' thing in your pocket, do you?"

"I do not have pockets." J'onn said simply.

"Wonderful." Booster muttered, slowly backing away. "Listen, I think you have the wrong guys. This is the Martian Manhunter and I am Booster Gold. Yes, that Booster Gold, and I know you are embarrassed right now, but I promise if you put the gun away, I will give you an autograph…"

BOOM!

Booster cried out as the asphalt right in front of him blew apart, leaving a smoking crater.

"Enough of this stupid talk. Give me the Allspark!"

"I think it is time we left." J'onn said.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Booster shouted, the two heroes taking off. "Call up the Watchtower, get some help!"

J'onn shook his head. "I can not see them yet. Not until I have learned more about humanity."

Spinning out of the way of a blast, Booster glared at the alien. "Yea, well I personally would prefer an early meeting to dying!"

"Why do you not use your energy blasts?" J'onn question.

"…I was getting to that! I just wanted to see if you would remember. First rule of humanity: make sure everyone around you is thinking the same thing you are. Should be easy, with the mind reading powers." Booster flipped onto his back and fired off several shots. The red robot let out a scream as he was hit, parts of his armor flying off. "Just like shooting Womp Rats back home."

"What is this Womp Rat you speak of?" J'onn asked.

"I don't know, it's just something Luke Skywalker said." The alien gave him a blank stare. "You know…Luke…Jedi Knight…son of Darth Vader…"

"Is this Luke Skywalker a friend of yours from the future?"

"Is he…?" Booster stammered as they continued their escape. "Star Wars…George Lucas' master epic? 6 movies, 3 goods ones, though some would argue that there should be four but I personally can't stand Empire Strikes Back…"

"Booster." J'onn said. "I can read your mind, and still you are making little sense."

"Oh…well, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…"

"Halt!" The two paused as a fighter jet came screaming towards them, weapons blazing. J'onn went hollow as Booster activated his shields, the two just avoiding a fiery death. Turning around, they watched as the jet began to tear apart, reforming into another robot. "Surrender the Allspark!"

"I would if I could!" Booster shouted. "But I don't have it!"

"Swindle!" The jet called out. "Hear that, the green one has the Allspark."

"Destroy him, Dreadwing!"

J'onn looked at Booster. "I sense I should have stayed aboard the Watchtower."

"Yea yea, just fly!" Booster exclaimed, shooting forward, hoping his flight ring would be able to handle the sudden increase in speed. J'onn was at his side, the two of them whizzing about the air, trying to avoid the two robots. 'Quick, down there!' Booster mentally sent the alien. The two of them landed in an alley, pressing into the shadows as Swindle stormed past.

"We should engage them…they might hurt civilians."

"I know, I know, I just need to think for a moment." Booster said. He began to rub his temples. "Come on, think…think…" He groaned, frustrated. "You know, normally I let Skeet figure out what to do. Let his mind work out all the mathematical thingies."

"Thingies?" J'onn questioned.

"Shush…ok, ok…what we need is help…Dear God, creator of man, inventor of the pizza bagel, I know I don't believe in you, infact I'm sure I've broke 6 of 12 those commandment thingies the guy who made the NRA carved into tombstones."

J'onn frowned. "I am not even from your planet, and I know how wrong that statement was."

"But I ask you now, please, send us some help…" Booster begged.

"Hey, idiot." Booster looked up in time to see a metallic pink motorcycle pull up to them. "Decepticons don't care if you get on your knees and beg for mercy. Just makes it easier for them to shoot you."

Booster looked at J'onn. "I should have asked for a female help."

The motorcycle rose up, parts shifting until it took on a feminine form.

"_Human _female." Booster clarified.

"God, you are an idiot, even at this age." The robot said. Before Booster could ask, she turned to J'onn, holding out her hand. "Arcee."

"J'onn J'onzz." J'onn said, shaking her hand after a moment. "What is going on here."

"You've stumbled into a war that has been waging for ages. You see, those two, Swindle and Dreadwing, are members of a group called the Decepticons. For ages, we Autobots have battled them, to stop their need for violence and bloodshed." She looked around, before pulling out a gun. "Come with me, if you want to live."

"Terminator…classic." Booster said, only for J'onn and Arcee to stare. "You know, at least Ted gets some of my jokes."

Arcee would have rolled her eyes if she could. Instead, she motioned for the two heroes to follow her. The three moved out of the alley, making their way across the sidewalk, trying to be casual…or as casual as an alien, a man in yellow and blue spandex, and a 10-foot tall fembot could be.

"You acted before as if you knew Booster…but he as no memory of you." J'onn said. "Why is that?"

Arcee frowned. "I will know him, in about 4 years." At their blank stares, Arcee sighed. "I wasn't always an Autobot. I was born here on Earth. My father is the robot Skeet, my mother is Batcomputer."

Booster grinned. "I'm an Grandpa?"

BOOM!

The three turned to find Dreadwing and Swindle coming right at them, both screaming about the Allspark. J'onn raced forward, going hollow then phasing his arm through Swindle's chest…only for nothing to happen.

"They have sparks that give them life!" Arcee called out. J'onn nodded, and after punching Dreadwing into Swindle, he flew towards Booster and Arcee, hiding behind an overturned car with them. "You have to beat them the old fashion way." She shot up, firing off a few blasts before diving back down. "So just keep shooting."

Booster nodded, leaning around the car to get in a few energy shots. "So, Skeet and the Batcomputer got it on? How did that happen? Did they get married? Is tracy your grnadma?"

Arcee nodded. "As vulgar as ever. Yes. Not telling because it's disgusting. So to speak and yea, with Ted."

"Ted is your grandma...great, like I don't hear enough of those gay rumors. Just because two men are friends, and share an apartment, and once showered together..." Arcee groaned.

"How did you end up back here?" J'onn asked.

"About 50 years from now, I was one of the newest members of the Justice League Unlimited. On my first day, some idiot gave me his time travel device, instead of his legion flight ring, and I end up warping back through time and space to Cybertron."

"Wow…Batman got stupid in his old age."

Arcee closed her eyes. "The point is, I arrived during the war and decided to help. Figured if I survived, I could return to my time the natural way."

"That must have been difficult, what with you being a ripped from your home and placed in a strange world." J'onn sighed. "I know the feeling…"

"Give us the Allspark!" Dreadwing screamed, firing off some wild shots.

"J'onn, you can be melodramatic later…though with you, it seems like every moment of the day you are melodramatic. Is that why you decided to have me teach you about humanity?"

"Grandpa Booster, teaching about humanity? You are so screwed."

BOOM!

This time, it was the Decepticons turning to search for the sound of the explosion, along with the heroes. From the smoke of the Bank, all of them watched as the Joker and Harley Quinn stepped out, each holding a bag of cash.

"What did I tell ya, Har? This will be the best joke! Bats is so worried about what we are doing in Gotham that he won't pay attention to these regular crimes!" The Joker began to laugh hysterically, Harley giggling along with him.

Booster stood up and pointed at the Clown Prince of Crime manically. "He has the Allspark! He does, and no one else!"

Swindle and Dreadwing looked at each other. "What?"

"Swarm, swarm! Get the Allspark, you idiots! Do it for the glory of…what's his name!"

"Megatron?" Swindle asked.

"Yea, Megaman! Get the Allspark for Megaman!"

"…give us the Allspark!" Dreadwing cried out, aiming at the two villains.

The Joker blinked. "Harley, do you know what they are yapping about?"

"Not I don't Mr…" Harley didn't finish, as Swindle fired a blast that sent her flying back into the bank.

The Joker's jaw dropped. "Well…hee hee…" He chuckled nervously. "Bye!"

"The Allspark!" The Decepticons shouted, giving chase. Arcee and J'onn stared at Booster in shock.

"That…shouldn't have worked."

"Lesson 2 about humanity." Booster said as he began to strut away from the turned over car. "Just because a plan is illogical doesn't mean it won't work. Most of the time, it means it will." Booster stretched. "At least we are out of dan…"

BANG!

"Booster!" Arcee and J'onn shouted, rushing over to where the hero's body had landed, after making contact with the large van. The time traveler groaned, lucky his suit's force field had kicked on.

"Like, zoinks, Fred, you totally whammed that guy!" A brown haired hippie in a green shirt and brown pants exclaimed. "Ain't that right, Scoob."

"Oh boy…" Booster mumbled.

Author's Note: Yes, this would make Arcee the grandchild of Bruce Wayne (father of the batcomputer) and Michael Carter (Father of Skeet). Also, in my mind (and perhaps it will be mentioned in the story) Ted Kord is considered to be Arcee's grandma, for his working on Skeet (and the fact that Booster would tell little Arcee just that).


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I do not own any of these characters. I merely borrow them.

In 'To Another Shore' J'onn made the decision to leave the league, and learn about the human race. When we see him again, he has discovered happiness, joy, and perhaps even love. The once cold hearted Martian is happy, and has a story to tell.

_Deciding that the only way he can learn about the human race is to be a part of it, J'onn searches for another man that has been displayed in this world, but someone he misjudged…one of his greatest mistakes: Booster Gold._

_But what starts out as a simple conversation will turn into a hilarious journey across the world, discovering other heroes, places, and mysterious. The DCU will never be the same._

J'onn and Mike's Bogus Adventure 

Part 3

Lets Split Up Gang!

"Lesson 2 about humanity." Booster said as he began to strut away from the turned over car. "Just because a plan is illogical doesn't mean it won't work. Most of the time, it means it will." Booster stretched. "At least we are out of dan…"

BANG!

"Booster!" Arcee and J'onn shouted, rushing over to where the hero's body had landed, after making contact with the large van. The time traveler groaned, lucky his suit's force field had kicked on.

"Like, zoinks, Fred, you totally whammed that guy!" A brown haired hippie in a green shirt and brown pants exclaimed. "Ain't that right, Scoob."

"Oh boy…" Booster mumbled.

"Jeez Fred, look at what you did!" A high struck red hair shouted. "Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road."

"Don't worry Daphne, I'm sure he's fine."

Booster stood up slowly. "Anyone get the number of that van…" He blinked, looking at the van in question. "Oh…its still here."

"Well done Vic Sage." Arcee muttered as she discreetly transformed back into a motorcycle. J'onn helped steady Booster, leading him to Arcee and letting the time traveling hero rest against her.

J'onn turned to watch the group exit their fan and line up. First was the hippie in the green shirt, then some yuppie with a dickie, and the red head. Their fourth, a squat person with glasses, brought up the rear.

"Gang, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Fred Jones asked.

"That we should go stop off for a few burgers?" Shaggy replied.

"No. I think we just found our newest mystery…who destroyed this street?"

Daphne Blake looked at J'onn. "Maybe its that guy dressed up in the green costume."

"My name is J'onn J'onzz. I am the last of the Martian Race, and a member of the Justice League."

"…maybe J'onn J'onzz is the one that destroyed the street."

"Good job Daphne!" Fred said with a grin. "You are so smart…"

"Hey!" Velma cried out. "I'm the smart one."

"But you don't have a butt you can bounce quarters off of." Fred gave Daphne's rear a smack, the red head giggling. "Mmm, yea, like that, don't ya girl."

"Ew." Booster said, pushing away from Arcee. Everyone looked at him. "Hey, I am all for being gay, but bisexual? Pick a side."

Everyone stared.

"Uh…Booster?" J'onn said softly. "What are you talking about?"

"The dude in the white hitting on the big boy in orange."

"…that's a girl, Booster." J'onn said.

"No. No. No." Booster repeated. "I understand how you could be mistaken…maybe on Mars, that guy would be a girl. But trust me, that is a dude." Booster walked over to Velma. "If this were a girl, this would be sexual harassment." He reached out, tweaking her breasts. "…it's a girl, isn't it."

J'onn nodded. Arcee sighed.

"Ah." Booster raised his hands, slowly walking away. "Sorry about that."

"Idiot." Arcee muttered to herself.

J'onn stepped forward. "I apologize for my friend. He is not from this time."

Fred shrugged. "That's fine…first time someone touched those in years." He let out a laugh, Shaggy giggling uncontrollably. "My names Fred, this fine piece is Daphne, that's Velma, and this is Shaggy. Together, we are Mystery, INC. We drive around, solving mysteries…"

"Running people over…" Booster muttered.

"And we stop old hermits from scaring people away from amusement parks!" Shaggy said.

"How often does that happen?" J'onn asked.

"Once every 5 cases or so." Daphne admitted. "What are you doing out here?"

J'onn began to tell them about his journey to discover mankind, to learn about them and what made them the way they were. The gang listened on, in rapt attention.

"Dude…that is so awesome. We should totally help you!" Shaggy exclaimed.

Booster shook his head. "Thanks but no thanks. There is room for only one sidekick, and J'onn fills it. I don't take on anymore then that."

"Yea, J'onn's the sidekick." Arcee said to herself.

"Besides," Fred said, "we have to figure out what happened here." He looked J'onn and Booster over. "You guys are dressed like our normal rogue's gallery…you sure you aren't really old man Phillips, trying to drive people out of town?"

"Positive." J'onn said. "And we know who did this."

"Robots." Booster said. "Big ones."

"…let me let you in on some advice." Fred replied, walking over and placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Its never just giant robots. Its always an old white man, dressed up as a robot. Or some swarthy guy that looks Egyptian, or some lady that seems real mad. The point is, it is never a giant robot." 

"Except when it's a robot." Booster tried to explain.

"Booster is correct. We have seen plenty of supervillians that use giant robots."

"Dude…why would you see that?"

"Because we're superheroes, Chong." Booster muttered.

"let me let you in on some advice." Fred said, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "You guys are never heroes. Your always an old white man, dressed up as a robot. Or some swarthy guy that looks Egyptian, or some lady that seems real mad."

"What?" J'onn and Booster asked.

"Lets split up gang."

Daphne frowned. "Fred…we're on an empty street. How do we split up."

"Uh…Velma, you, Shaggy, and these two guys go check out that scary looking drug store where a ghost might hide out. Me and Daphne will go look in that well lit mattress and condom factory."

"Here's a thought." Booster interrupted. "Why don't you guys go do what you want, and me and J'onn just leave on our motorcycle?"

J'onn turned towards Booster. 'Why do you want to leave?'

'Trust me on this, these guys aren't right in the head. I know when people are a bit crazy…heck, takes one to know one…think that's slang nowadays. We need to leave, now, before they tie us up and burn us at the stake.'

"Jinkies!" Velma exclaimed, picking up a wadded up tissue from a garbage bag. "This is a major clue!"

"Tell us about it Velma!" Daphne said with glee, rushing over. The gang gathered around, talking in hushed voices.

'Listen…I'm played football, I know all about drugs.' Booster thought to J'onn. 'Do they have drugs on Mars?' J'onn didn't respond. 'Of course not…the Marians are so great, your farts probably smell like cinnamon buns. Point is, the hippie in green, I can smell the marijuana on him from way over here. Considering how small that van is, they all probably have contact high, and lack any real braincells.'

"Dude, we need to show Scoob!" Shaggy exclaimed.

"J'onn, Booster, do you want to meet Scooby?" Velma asked.

"Scooby?" J'onn questioned.

"Our talking dog." Fred answered.

'No!' Booster thought-screamed.

"Yes." J'onn said politely. 'We must be polite…perhaps this dog can really talk…'

Booster and J'onn moved to the back of the van, where the Mystery, INC gang had gathered. Shaggy threw open the doors and grinned. "Hey Scoob!"

"AAAAAAAA!" Booster screamed, J'onn stepping back in horror.

There, in the back seat, laid the rotting corpse of a dog, maggots crawling all over its blotted face and into its gapping mouth. One of the dog's eyes was hanging free, its tongue lulled out. 'Scooby' had massive decayed sections running along his stomach, all matter of insects crawling through his dead body. Cocaine was all over his nose, as was blood, and the stench was terrible.

"Yea Scooby, these are our new friends!" Velma exclaimed. "And they are going to join us, and travel around, and help us solve mysteries, and be part of our fami…where did they go?"

"Drive Arcee, drive!" Booster screamed, J'onn holding onto the time traveler's waist as the fembot rocketed out towards the horizon.

"Zoinks, they totally left!" Shaggy whined. "I need a Scooby snack." He opened a dog treat box and shoveled a handful of weed into his mouth.

&&&

"Lesson three?" Booster shouted several hours later.

"Never do drugs." J'onn replied.

"exactly." Booster said, yawning. "Arcee, let's pull off here. I…yawn….need some sleep."

"Yes Miss Daisy. Would you like to go to the Piggily Wiggily later?"

"Where is this Piggily Wiggily?" J'onn asked. "Is that a place where I can learn about humanity?"

"…is this guy for real?" Arcee asked.

"'fraid so. Pull off there, at that hotel." Booster said, pointing to the old building to their right. "The one with the guy just standing there…"

"You ever know the kind of guy who does bad things and wonders why his life sucks?" 

"What the hell is that?" Booster asked, looking around as the voice echoed all around them.

"well, that was me. Every time somethin' good happened to me somethin' bad was always waitin' around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change."

J'onn frowned. "I hear it too."

"Yea…by Vector Sigma, what is going on?" Arcee asked.

"So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My Name is Earl."

"Oh boy." Booster muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I do not own any of these characters. I merely borrow them.

In 'To Another Shore' J'onn made the decision to leave the league, and learn about the human race. When we see him again, he has discovered happiness, joy, and perhaps even love. The once cold hearted Martian is happy, and has a story to tell.

_Deciding that the only way he can learn about the human race is to be a part of it, J'onn searches for another man that has been displayed in this world, but someone he misjudged…one of his greatest mistakes: Booster Gold._

_But what starts out as a simple conversation will turn into a hilarious journey across the world, discovering other heroes, places, and mysterious. The DCU will never be the same._

J'onn and Mike's Bogus Adventure 

Part 4

Karma is a Funny Thing

"'fraid so. Pull off there, at that hotel." Booster said, pointing to the old building to their right. "The one with the guy just standing there…"

"So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My Name is Earl."

"Oh boy." Booster muttered.

"Do you want me to run him over?" Arcee asked.

"No." J'onn said. "Drive us to the front, so we may secure a room."

&&&

"Now this is a sweet pad." Booster said, jumping up and down on the bed.

"God, you are so immature." Arcee said, sitting on the floor of the cheap motel room, at last able to stretch out her legs.

"You're just mad you can't bounce too!" Booster exclaimed.

The robot crossed her arms over her chest. "Stupid autobots don't believe in beds…I've had to power down standing up for ages…" She sniffed. "I miss my "My Little Pony" Bed."

Booster frowned, flopped down on the bed. "Listen…knowing me, the only reason I sent you back in time was because I knew those Autotots…"

"Bots."

"Whatever…needed you. Am I right?"

"…yea. I learned a lot from them…like how to transform…and I met a lot of cool robots. Though, getting tortured by Megatron was so not fun…"

"Tortured? J'onn, make a note to kill Megatron." Booster turned back to Arcee. "But the point is…you're now a hero…and you can now help out the new Justice League as a leading member, instead of being a grunt like I am. I can even give you my time machine…"

"Nah." Arcee said. "I can wait the 30 years. What's 30 years compared to a few million. Besides, in robot years, that's like…a few days. Besides…" If Arcee could blush, she would, "I kinda…have a boyfriend…"

"WHAT?!" Booster shouted.

J'onn frowned. "Please calm down, Booster…"

"My niece has a boyfriend…" Booster muttered. "and just who is this little punk?"

"He's another scout, named Bumblebee…"

Booster made a face. "Your boyfriend is named after a bug?"

"Insect." J'onn said.

"No J'onn…bug. A bumblebee is a bug. I know it is hard to understand animals on this planet…" 

Arcee banged her head against the wall. "Vector Sigma."

"I'm gonna go get some snack food, alright." Booster said. "Arcee, teach J'onn about bees, ok? Lesson four, learn about your world to feel more connected to it." Booster grinned before leaving the apartment, J'onn and Arcee staring blankly at the door.

&&&

"Come on Earl, I'm hungry!" Randy whined, trailing after his brother as they made their way to the candy machine. "I want some of those vending machine donuts."

"I'm walking as fast as I can Randy. Telling me to go faster doesn't make me actually go faster." Earl Hickey complained.

"I don't know Earl, whenever people tell me to go faster, I try and speed up. Mostly because I'm afraid they will get tired of waiting and jump on my back and ride me like a pony."

Earl sighed. "Randy, that only happened once, and I warned you about being around Ralph when he had gotten into his mom's peppermint whiskey."

Randy shrugged. "I can't help it, I like smelling his breath. It smells like Christmas."

Earl decided to just ignore Randy at that point, as he really didn't want to know why Randy was smelling Ralph's breath. Making their way to the vending machine, the two of them came upon an unusual sight: A man in a yellow and blue spandex suit was kneeling next to the machine, arm sticking up through the slot and reaching for the snacks.

"What…what are you doin'?" Earl asked in confusion.

"Uh…superhero business." Booster Gold said. "We have reason to believe these snacks are…evil."

Randy's eyes grew wide. "I don't want evil snacks Earl."

"They're not really evil, Randy." Earl said.

"But the Green Lantern said…" 

"Booster Gold!" Booster shouted, ripping his hand, and the last pack of donuts, from the machine. "My costume would be green…" He closed his eyes, "calm down…you are better then that…you're a valued member of the League, no need to defend yourself. Remember what your psychiatrist said, even if they are evil people that never help anyone and only end up becoming evil henchwomen of the Joker…"

'As I listened to Booster ramble on about psychiatrists, I was reminded of number 56 on my list…'

Booster blinked. "There is that damn voice again!" He looked up at the sky. "Shut up!"

'Now, normally I am use to crazy people…I mean, I did marry Joy…' 

"Who the hell is Joy?" Booster shouted.

'Wait…can you actually hear me?' Earl blinked.

Booster slowly turned towards Earl. "Yes, I can you hear, rolifin."

"Rolifin?" Randy asked. "That sounds like the name I gave the little invisible elf that use to live in my closet and make my shoes smell."

'What is with me and crazy people?' Booster thought as he turned back to his candy quest.

Earl frowned. "Hey, don't call my brother crazy! He's just…slow."

"…huh?" Randy said.

It was Booster's turn to blink. "You could hear that?"

"…yea." He turned to Randy. "Did you hear that…Randy, stop looking at the sun!"

"Geez…" Booster muttered. 'J'onn, get your green ass out here, and bring Arcee!'

&&&

"Hey Earl." 

"Hey Crabman."

"Hey J'onn, Hey Booster."

"Hey Crabman." J'onn and Booster both said.

Earl and Randy looked at the two heroes in surprise. "Wait…you know Darnell?"

Booster shrugged. "of course we do."

"He is Crabman." J'onn said simply.

Darnell walked back with the rest of their food. "Did Diana ever manage to find Circe?"

"Yes, thanks to the intel you provided. She sends her thanks, and also asks for of your lemon squares." J'onn said.

Darnell nodded. "I'll send her some as soon as I get done with the batch I am making for Lex Luthor to apologize for breaking his nose. I don't know my own strength."

Earl held up his hand. "Wait…Darnell is part of the Justice League?"

Booster shrugged. "Of course."

"He's Crabman." J'onn said simply. "I'm surprised you did not realize such, considering what happened 2 years ago

'And that's when I remembered number 132 on my list…'

"There's that voice again!" Booster exclaimed, looking up at the sky. "Where is that coming from?"

'Prevented the Justice League from capturing a super-villian'

&&&

(Two years ago)

Earl blinked, confused when Darnell ran up to the El Camino, dressed in a a spandex suit with a large letter C emblazed on it, a black mask covering his face.

"Oh…hey Earl." Darnell said.

"Hey Crabman." Earl peeked in the rear view mirror at the man dressed like a bat, some guy with a hook for a hand, and a woman dressed like a gypsy. "Going to some costume party?"

"Nah, we're just hunting a wanted criminal that is trying to destroy the world with a weather controlling gun, before he can use said gun to destroy most of the town and the surrounding farm land."

"Oh…" Earl said slowly. "Thought maybe you were going to a costume party."

"I get that a lot." Crabman turned as he heard so sirens. "I have to go Earl, I'll see you at the Crab Shack tomorrow."

Earl nodded. "Bye Crabman."

"Bye Earl!" And with that, Darnell was gone. After a few moments, once the heroes were out of sight, a dark haired man popped up from where he had been cowering in the passanger's seat.

"Are they gone."

"Yea, their gone." Earl said. "So…you said you were playing some kind of Hide-and-Seek game, Mr. Savage?"

Vandal Savage nodded. "Yes…and I really want to win."

"Listen, if you need a good hiding spot, you can come over to my trailer. Just as long as you don't mind my brother Randy asking if he can tug on your beard. He's in a tugging phase."

Vandal frowned. "No thanks…could you hand me my…hide-and-seek device?"

Earl picked up a large bulky gun. "You mean the one that has "Weather Dominator" written on it?"

"Yes…thank you Earl."

"Have fun, Mr. Savage!"

&&&

Earl frowned. "Listen…I really want to make this up to the League…"

"No need." J'onn said. "It was a simple mistake…"

"Mistake nothing, he can buy me a pony!" Booster said. "My girl loves ponies, I will get major torigoh points for a pony."

"What's a torigoh point?" Randy asked. Booster grinned and whispered the answer in Randy's ear. "Oh, is that were you have to blow out birthday candles?"

"I…think you misheard me." Booster said slowly.

"I mean it, I have to find someway to help you…"

"Hey Booster, J'onn." Darnell said. "Joy just stole your motorcycle."

'Joy had recently had her heart set on getting a motorcycle…'

"Damn it!" Booster shouted. "Where is that voice coming from?" He looked over Earl. "You sure you aren't psychic?"

&&&

"Joy…get off the motorcycle!" Earl shouted.

"Why, it's my motorcycle!" Joy shouted, revving the engine. "listen to that baby purr!"

"Joy, we all know that it isn't your motorcycle."

Joy shook her head. "How do you know, dummy, you a mind reader?"

"No, I am." J'onn said from the back of the El Camino.

"Like I'm gonna fall for that. What about you?"

"Time traveler." Booster said. "Lady, get off the motorcycle before I make you get off!" Booster raised his fist, readying to fire on her, only for J'onn to stop him.

"You can not hurt a human. The Justice League only attacks supervillians."

"Then you attack her, use your mind whammies!"

"I do not like to attack women." J'onn said.

"AAAA!"

Both turned as Joy flew backwards, skidding across the road. Arcee grinned as she finished transforming. "But I don't mind one bit." She converted back to motorcycle form. "Come on guys, lets get going!"

J'onn and Booster shrugged, hopping onto the bike and driving off.

"Damn it Earl, I bruised my ass! You know my ass is my best asset…you better use some of that lotto money to pay for some ass-transplant surgery!"

&&&

"Why are we pulling off here?" J'onn asked.

"I'm getting thirsty. I want to grab a Red Bull." He grinned. "You know, in my time, you have to have a prescription to buy a Red Bull. Lesson number…what number are we on?"

"Who cares." Arcee said. "I just want you two off my back!" She pulled into a convenience store, waited 5 seconds for the two heroes to get off, then promptly transformed into her 10 foot tall form. "Crazy white trash woman kidnaps me and thinks I won't do a thing about it? I should have shot her behind the second she hopped on!"

"Arcee, just calm down, ok?" Booster pleaded.

"Do you think it is wise to be in this form?" J'onn questioned.

"Do you think it is wise to be in that form?" Arcee bantered back, waving her arm at J'onn. "Mr. Green Jeans is giving me stealth advice…"

"THE ALLSPARK!"

Booster groaned. "Not this guy again!" he swung around, pointing his blaster gauntlets right at Swindle. "We told you, we don't have the Allspark!" 

"Give me the Allspark!" Swindle shouted, firing off his chest canon. He rushed at the group, managing to grab Arcee by the neck and kick the two heroes away. "Give me the…"

"Snooch to the mother &($ nooch!"

Swindle only had a second to turn and watch as two men leapt onto his back, holding on tight and punching him over and over. The Decepticon Drone decided it was best to make a speedy getaway, transforming and driving off, leaving Arcee on the ground, J'onn and Booster standing up, and their saviors watching on. The fat one pulled out a Nail's ciggerette and lit it up, the smaller screaming at the top of his lungs.

"That's what you get for coming here and messing up our store, you Gobot &!" He shook his head. "you see that #$ Silent Bob? I totally took him out while you just stood there like the whiny bitch you are. You were going, "Save me, Jay, save my tubby $$!" Yea, totally like that." He looked over at Arcee. "Damn man, I think we saved one of those Japanese sex robots. Look, I call first shot, I hate sloppy seconds."

"Oh boy…" Booster and J'onn muttered.

-Crab shack

-Earl helps Savage

-Joy steals Arcee

-Arcee beats Joy

-Jay and Silent Bob

-Lost


End file.
